Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Cop Makes Arrest In Bathroom After Smelling Crack

What Else Would You Expect To Smell?

Of course the actual CBS/AP article is referring to crack cocaine.
The Cecil County Sheriff's Office said a deputy about to take a bathroom break at a gas station smelled crack cocaine and made a quick arrest.
I knew Wawa's carried a lot of convenience items, but that is ridiculous.

(h/t to Gawker)

Monday, February 23, 2009

Slumdog Millionaire' is top dog at the Oscars

The post title came from the San Jose Mercury News.

Other punny headlines include:
Kansas City Star: One-time underdog ‘Slumdog Millionaire' dominates Oscars
Gulf News: Controversies still dog 'Slumdog Millionaire'
Washington Post: 'Slumdog' Is Best in Show
Rueters: Every ‘Slumdog’ has its day
Boston Globe: 'Slumdog' leads the pack
UK Telegraph: From fleapit to the red carpet
London Free Press: Oscar goes to the Dog

Not to mention a ton of "Final Answer" variations.

Friday, February 20, 2009

It's official: men see women in bikinis as 'sex objects'

Why The Swimsuit Issue Is So Popular

From Great Britain, the Independent reports that scientists hooked men up to brain scans and showed them pictures of women in skimpy clothes.
Scientists have demonstrated something that many women suspect and most men would admit only to themselves: pictures of scantily clad females turn women into sexual objects in the minds of men.
The article is fascinating not in the least because they picked Rosanna Davison, who had nothing to do with the study, to illustrate the effect.

(h/t to DLD)

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Favre will retire from NFL

Deja Vu All Over Again

From Sports Illustrated:
The 39-year-old quarterback told the New York Jets on Wednesday that he was retiring after 18 seasons, ending a record-setting career in which he became one of the NFL's all-time greats.
Maybe this time it will take.

(h/t to to NDN's top tipster ScottyNuke)

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Prosecutors Want Barry Jailed Over Tax Returns

"H&R Block Set Me Up"

Deposed Mayor-For-Life Marion Barry just can't find time to file a 1040, according to the Washington Post.
For the second time in two years, frustrated federal prosecutors took aim at Marion Barry's chronic failure to file his tax returns and urged a judge to put him in jail.

The move by authorities is the latest act in a long-running tug of war between authorities and the D.C. Council member over his tax status. In all, prosecutors say, Barry has failed to file his returns on time in eight of the past nine years.
It seems Barry thinks the tax code has a few cracks in it.

(very belated h/t to Scotty)

Octuplets' Mother Receives Public Assistance

Fourteen To Feed At Public Teat

Us Magazine reveals what most of us suspected.
Nadya Suleman, who gave birth to octuplets last month, is getting public assistance.

According to the Los Angeles Times, the 33-year-old Whittier, Calif., resident will receive $490 a month in food stamps. Three of her first six children are also disabled and receiving federal assistance.
That comes to about a buck a day per kid. She's the only person I know that will find the Costco-size baby food jars too small.

(h/t to DLD again)

'Dalai Lama' Twitter account suspended after exposed as fake

Lama Lama Ding Dong

From the United Kingdom, the Telegraph reveals that the Tibetian holy man has a doppleganger. As zenlike as most tweets are, they weren't his.
The feed attracted nearly 20,000 followers within 48 hours after launching under the Tibetan spiritual leader's name on Saturday.

It claimed to be administered by the "The Office of His Holiness the Dalai Lama", and directed most inquiries from other Twitterers to the exiled monk's official website.


But Twitter took the rare step of suspending the account after it emerged that the person behind it had no connection to the Nobel Peace Prize winner.

"The account was suspended because it violated our Terms of Use regarding impersonation," Twitter co-founder Biz Stone said.
Still no word on the legitimacy of users Mike Hunt and Ben Dover.

(h/t to DLD)

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Fires cause $6.6M damage across city overnight

Hot Time In The City

The "no duh" part of the story doesn't occur until the very last paragraph of the story in the Ottawa Citizen:
All three fires are being treated as suspicious and are being investigated by the arson unit. Ottawa Paramedics said they took a man with third-degree burns to 90 per cent of his body to hospital from a hotel in the west end Friday morning. Police were not drawing any link between the unidentified man and the fires.
No, a completely burned man in the same area as a four alarm blaze has to be a total coincidence.

(h/t to Boko999 and shrieking denizen of the Achenblog)

Friday, February 6, 2009

Treasury Overpaid for Bank Assets in Bailout, Oversight Panel Says

Government Played For Sucker Again.

The Washington Post reports that federal bank bailout guys paid too much.
The investigators concluded that the Treasury under the federal bailout had invested $254 billion into companies but the preferred stock it got in return had a market value at the time of only $176 billion, or 69 percent of what the government paid, according to a congressional oversight panel report scheduled to be released today.
And that doesn't include the overdraft/ATM/service fees. Face it, the gummint got ripped off no matter what they paid or else why would the bank sell them anything. All this bailout is doing is letting the banks rip us off at wholesale prices instead of retail.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Fitness Isn’t an Overnight Sensation

Eat Less, Exercise More, Repeat

The New York Times quotes a real life doctor who did a study to determine how long it takes to look good naked, or at least look better:
“To make a change in how you look, you are talking about a significant period of training,” Dr. Kraemer said. “In our studies it takes six months to a year.” And, he added, that is with regular strength-training workouts, using the appropriate weights and with a carefully designed individualized program. “That is what the reality is,” he said.
Which means I am already too late to get those six-pack abs by summer.

(h/t to Consumerist)

Daschle Apologizes for Income Tax Errors

Betcha Wish You Had Gotten The H&R Block Guarantee Now

The Washington Post says that Tom Daschle is is at least as sorry about that tax mistake as Michael Phelps is for bogarting that bong.
Thomas A. Daschle, fighting to defend his nomination to be secretary of health and human services, released a letter early today apologizing to the top lawmakers on the Senate Finance Committee for mistakes on his personal income tax returns that resulted in $146,000 in back payments.
When your back taxes are larger than most people's W-2, you are in way too high of a tax bracket. Maybe he can hire Timothy Geithner's accountant.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Phelps Admits to 'Regrettable' Marijuana Use

White Punk On Dope

The Washington Post tells of swimmer gold medalist Phelps apologizing for puffing a bong.
Olympic swimming champion Michael Phelps acknowledged using "bad judgment" and engaging in "regrettable" behavior a day after a British tabloid published a photo in which Phelps appeared to be using marijuana.
He's got to do something to build up an appetite if he's going to eat 7,000 calories a day.